It's been 12 months and 3 days and I am finding it hard without you my lovely, I made it through the first year; which makes me sad, I feel even further away from you now. I think about you everyday without fail. Your trainers are still by the radiator and your coats and jackets are still hung up in the cupboard just as you left them, to be honest so is your razor, soaps, aftershaves, even the pillows you were using to support your back are exactly where you last threw them. I do think to myself that I should really move them, but keep thinking if I move them somehow I am moving you out of our lives, well at least that's how it makes me feel, stupid I know but there you go - Grief, it's a funny thing and does even funnier things to you. I am just sitting here playing around on You Tube, listening to songs. Every song I look for is based around a memory of ours or a song we liked, was I ever anybody before I met you? You always danced with me, no matter where we were club, pub, party or even in our kitchen at home while we washed up and cooked dinner, so funny and it will always make me smile when I think of you dancing; so much concentration, top teeth over your bottom lip as you clenched your hands together and wafted them around, pure class my Darling. I loved you so much for that, never took yourself too serious and was always up for a laugh. You made me so happy, I know we loved each other, shame really that we didn't get the chance to spend the rest of our lives together, I was quite looking forward to hiding your hearing aid, or kicking your walking stick!! Send us a sign your out there somewhere. xx